Springtime Barbecue Gadgets

When I opened my barbecue for the first time this spring, it was pretty horrific. The mold had apparently become sentient, and they were pretty upset with the state of affairs. I believe there was lobbying going on and talk of some form of pollution ordinance. Not being one to take the simple option, I immediately went in search of some form of technology to cure my barbecue ills.


The motorized BBQ grill cleaner looks fairly impressive, and it sure has a good heft to it when stocked with all 8 AA batteries. My impression, however, is that it is aimed at your more casual barbecue user (barbecueista?), because it just doesn?t seem to have the grunt to cut through the advanced civilization residing on my grill. Don?t take this the wrong way, but it?s kinda like using a Prius with a snowplow attached to move a mountain. There?s nothing wrong with the Prius, per se, but you?re doin’ it wrong.

Like a Prius, the grill cleaner has a headlight. I?m sure you?ll find this useful while sipping your white wine and cleaning your $3,000 barbecue grill in the dark. I?ll be powering up the industrial water blaster.

bbqcliplight_140_140 While you?re ferreting around in the dark, it might pay to grab hold of these illuminated tongs, or perhaps clip this BBQ clip light to the side of the grill.

I prefer the clip light. The tongs are a cool idea, but think about it: if you?ve grabbed a monster sausage (fnar fnar), your tong-light will be eclipsed. The clip light, on the other hand, illuminates the entire grill, allowing for unlimited monster sausage handling.

grillthermometer_200_200 So now you have a clean barbecue, and you can see what you are doing. It?s time to heat things up a bit. But how much is ?a bit?? Enter the electronic BBQ fork and the completely awesome remote BBQ grill thermometer. Just look at that thing. Doesn?t it make you want to go barbecue just to play with it? Both of these temperature sensing gadgets have convenient ?meat? and ?taste? settings, allowing for combinations like ?rare beef? and ?well-done pork?. Thankfully they are intelligent enough to not offer the unappetizing ?rare chicken? option.

The wireless thermometer works as advertised, allowing you to hook the receiver to your belt while you rove around and socialize, wondering why the chicks are avoiding you. It beeps when your meat is ready.

I?m so disappointed that I?ve already used my quota of innuendo in this post.

Update: you can watch me talk about these on my first ever live TV appearance this morning. Go here, and click on the “Gadgets for the barbecue” link under “Related Video”. Also, stay tuned for a new post in which I will be giving away the coolest of the bunch: the remote thermometer.

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