NZ Telecom Customer Non-Service

Telecom LogoHoly hell in a handbasket batman…
I called our local friendly monopoly telephone company (Telecom) last night to get Caller ID turned on so our new DECT phones can be all singy and dancy. Three times I called and waited 15 mins before flagging it.

On the fourth call I stuck the phone on speaker and left it sitting for 20 mins before some dude answered. He then said he couldn’t turn on caller id because we had an outstanding ADSL request (to increase speed to 2mbps), and accounts can’t have more than one request, despite the fact that caller id and ADSL are unrelated. OMG WTF BBQ? Some sort of database limitation maybe? A one-to-one join on the account-request table?

He then put me on hold for 10 minutes, and someone else answered as if it were a new call. Nice one. They said the same thing. I said bollocks, let me talk to your supervisor. They finally came back and said oops, there’s no way your ADSL request should be taking so long, and yes we should be able to do caller id, but we can’t have more than one request at a time, terribly sorry let me chase it up and call you tomorrow.

All I have to show for a 51 minute phone call is a name and extension number of the person, and the knowledge that the battery in the new phone is pretty good.

I love monopoly. Go to jail Telecom. Do not pass Go.

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  1. Dude. Once again I remember the reason I dont’ want to come back to NZ just yet. It’s not Helen. It’s not Student Loans. It’s not Bogans. It’s not the Weather. It’s Telecom…

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